Marc

Marc,
You've been gone for such a long, long time.
I barely view the memory, of you here in my mind.
You were my hero, my star, my idle, I wanted so much to be like you.
Now when I try to see your face, You no longer come into view.
In all the years, that have past, I saw you everywhere,
As I walked through the mall, in a store or down the street,
I saw your face on every stranger, mostly big and burly men.
I thought maybe you'd come back or you really hadn't gone.
But then I know the way you left, you would not be coming back.
And that I should not come along.
Forty years have come, now gone, and you would be proud,
I haven't cried too many tears, A lesson you taught, I learned.
You held me down, with forceful fists, yelling "real men never cry".
You told me strength was in the man,
the one who never feared any toil, or pain or heart-ache.
I have since learned those lesson and the reasons why.
I know our lives were not much fun, filled with hunger, abuse and pain.
I grew up in the shadows of a man, who's love I could not gain.
You said I was a fag, a sissy, and yes, even a queer.
I did my best against your fists, not to shed a tear.
So proud was I, to prove you wrong,
I married, I have a child, but my desires were so strong.
I covered them with alcohol, to make it through my day.
I didn't want to lose my wife, not wanting to be gay.
I hid my life, my wants, my dreams, just for your approval.
Never knowing how this all would end, only living with upheaval.
As I look back, I look for you, but I would not change a thing.
If not for you, your rugged strength, I may not have made it through,
These doors of life which opened in sorrow, Then closed with so much pain.
We both lost, much of life, yet I still have so much to gain.
You were a man of no nonsense, hard work and grease filled hands.
A wife, a life, a family, a mechanic was your plan.
You did the best with what you had, big talk with strength to back it,
You never lost a single fight, you proved a rough, tough man.
I was inspired by your strength and always much in awe,
I saw the perfect man in you, showing little human flaws.
Forgetting all the strides you made, forgetting all you'd gained,
Remembering the past we lived, remembering the pain. Not able to let go the hurt, more confidence you needed.
At times life's more than a strong man can handle, you walked away defeated.
There is not a single word I'd say, that would have made your life much better,
Your actions took us by surprise, no farewells, no letter.
I spoke with Ma, the other day, We talked of when you left.
She said it was all a big mistake, then blamed a faulty gun.
I told her it was no ones fault, not hers, your wife, or son's.
She disagrees to blame someone, fault has to lie somewhere.
Maybe it is with your widow, Ma says she didn't care.
I've wanted so many times to talk, alone with your son.
To tell him of the things I know, many things that you had done.
But knowing he is far too old, for any past to matter.
I keep my silence and my distance, for fear I'd make him sadder.
40 years ago this day you left, your family, your child, your wife.
It was you, and you alone, who's gun ended your life.
My brother,
sometimes I wish that you were here,
just to see how our lives turned out.
I have a granddaughter in my life, she brightens up my day.
It will not matter to this child, that her grandpa is gay.
I no longer hide, nor drink, nor fear, about what's in our future.
For it is love and love alone, which bring us all much closer.
I can not change what the past has damaged, Nor the lives which we were dealt.
All I can do is share my hopes, my dreams, with some emotions felt.
You know big brother that sadness and pain lesson with time,
While I will always miss you and losing you, your death no longer hurts my mind.
Love, little brother.

Steller Lumens XLM on Reddit

I have seen many posts on Reddit about crypto and I am hoping XLM steller lumens is picked up soon. XLM lumens are a great currency for investment.

XLM price is affordable, what a great value, and a great opportunity.

Where is the Reddit army? Okay Reddit, you may start promoting XLM currency any time now!

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What will it take to get XLM crypto to increase in value? If Elon Musk gives an endorsement, maybe buys a $1million, will it help like he did with b-coin.

XLM-USD Stellar Lumens

With XLM at about $ .28 today 1-29-21 we need some heavy investors to push it up past $1. Maybe Jack Ma & Jack Dorsey can buy a few million or so.

XRP - Ripple cryptocurrency should be selling for at least $5. a token. XRP is considered cryptocurrency in Japan, Korea, Asia and the Middle East. It appears that the SEC wants a cut and is causing havic with Ripple, states XRP is security not crypto.

I wish Brad Garlinghouse would just pay them like many other cryptocurrencies have done.

Lets get XRP moving, at least up past $5 plus.

I can hope.

Thank God we have a new President - Go Joe

I am so grateful that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are in the White House.

Now I pray President Biden is able to restore honesty, dignity, respect and most of all calm to America. Good bye chaos!

Let the healing begin. Go Joe! Go Kamala!

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In some American Indian Tribes, a story has been passed down from generation to generation, telling of a Shaman living among a tribe and how she woke one morning and all her bad dreams simply disappeared, leaving her with only gooddreams. 

As the Shaman woke that morning she looked up and she saw a spider’s web several feet above where she slept. In the web she saw dew drops and as she took a closer look at the dew she saw what appeared to be her bad dreams floating in the dew. As the dew dried her bad dreams disappeared, leaving her with only her good dreams.

The Shaman began to pray, it was reveled to her that she should make catchers of bad dreams for all of the tribe to share, insuring that only good energy  and good dreams would come to the tribe. 

Fashioned after the spider wed she saw that morning, the Shaman created the first dreamcatcher. 

The Shaman took pieces of pliable twigs and fashioned them into circles, representing the circular flow of life. In the circle she used sinew, the thin lining located on the inside of an animals hide, along with small beads, she wove a web and hung feathers from the wooden circle. 

The Shaman prayed over each dream catcher, then she distributed the beautiful dream catchers she had created among her tribes people.

In the days and weeks that followed, the Shaman noticed that many in her tribe had only good dreams. For many years, the Shaman continued making dreamcatchers for her tribe. She made them with all sorts of different beads and whatever feathers she could find. The Shaman was always mindful to pray over the beads, the feathers and then the finished dream catcher.

Today, dreamcatchers are made in many different shapes and sizes, many of us believe that only the dream catcher with beads woven into the web will destroy bad dreams. Of course, you may believe as you wish, for in today's society many people hang dreamcatchers in many different places, a vehicle, office cubical as well as over the bed in hopes of capturing and destroying bad dreams.  Written by TarL Michael Jespersen as it was told to me by my friend who is a Navajo (Dine') Shaman.

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